Changes
by MyAssumption
Summary: Trying to reconnect with her memories of Edward, Bella was attacked by Laurent. The wolves saved her, but too late. A lonely mortal life was hard enough to contemplate, but how do you survive eternity without your soul mate?
1. Laurent Lunged

_In the clearing where once Bella and Edward had spent the day knowing each other. Bella had come to find him again, craving his voice after months of separation. Instead, she found the vampire Laurent, thirsty and alone. As a pack of La Push werewolves looks on, debating whether or not to intercede, Laurent shows Bella what Edward always feared most…_

Laurent lunged, and Bella screamed. Half the pack was frozen in surprise, not really believing that the bloodsucker would be so violent about it. The other half was already leaping into the clearing. Suddenly the world was full of snarling. Jacob and Sam wrenched the leech from Bella's throat, and under the crunching of the marble body in their jaws, they heard a sickening ripping sound, and Bella's screaming kicked up a notch.

The vampire fought, wrestling against his captors, but the wolves wouldn't let him leave the clearing. The entire pack fell on him, pinning and ripping and tearing him to pieces. It was only a few moments before they'd piled his remains in the far side of the clearing, and phased back to burn them.

While the others took care of the pyre, Jacob ran to Bella. She was writhing and screaming, bleeding out in the grass. Her throat was torn open, shredded when the wolves had pulled Laurent off. Jacob desperately pressed his hand against the wound in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. He only succeeded in coating his arm with her draining life.

Struggling to keep control of himself, he lifted her up in his arms. It was hard to keep hold of her, with the way she tried to squirm away from him in pain. '_Why hasn't she passed out? She must be in so much pain…_' Jake thought, but he knew that once she lost consciousness, she would be dead. He clutched her to his chest, holding on to these last, painful minutes with her.

He ran then. He ran away from his pack, back to La Push. He didn't know what to do, but he needed to get Bella away from the clearing where that vile creature had…

At some point while he ran with her, her face was pressed into his shoulder, muffling the screams. Her kicking feet might have upset his balance a few months ago, but nothing would have made him drop her now.


	2. Blood Loss

Sam was outside Jacob's house when he got there. The leader had phased back before racing to the town, and he waited by the door with pity in his eyes. He phased back to human again, and followed Jacob and the dying girl into the house, where Billy was watching with frightened eyes. He wheeled himself into the kitchen while the boys took Bella to the living room.

Suddenly she broke loose, kicking her legs and clutching at Jacob, shrieking in a hoarse, ragged voice. He lowered her carefully to the couch, kneeling beside it to keep her there. He held her hand tightly.

"She's lost so much blood…" Sam said, leaning over the back of the couch. "It's amazing she's even still conscious…"

"Amazing?" Billy echoed, his face bloodless. He had retrieved the first-aid kit, but he set it on the table by the couch. It was useless. "Sounds to me like death would be a relief."

Jacob crushed Bella's hand in his own, but she was too far gone to notice another pain. He knew his father was right, but he really, really wished he wasn't.

"…What happened?" Billy asked.

"Some bloodsucker was hunting in the woods to the north, and he came across Miss Swan… We got him… but she got torn up in the fight… I don't think she's gonna make it…"

Bella's screaming had quieted to breathless sobs, and her struggling had stopped completely, leaving her limp and weak. Jacob, almost defiantly, snatched the first-aid kit off the table, and began wrapping gauze around her neck. He had to let go of her hand to do it, but he couldn't just… Sam and Billy were giving up, but Jacob would do everything in his power to keep her from dying.

He used half of the gauze in the kit before tying it off and taking her hand again. Knowing it was almost over despite his ministrations, he buried his face against her shoulder. Even though the wound was hidden, everything was covered in blood, even the gauze. He shuddered, but buried his nose against her breathed her in.

The scent broke him; it was death. It was all Bella, and pain, and blood, and the sickening sweet smell of the vampire in the clearing… but Jake kept breathing deeply. He would witness her death. He would give her that.


	3. Last Moment

Sam put his hand on Jake's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jacob. Bella was a good person, and I know she was important to you." He didn't add that it would be better for her to die, here, now, and quickly, than the other alternative. He didn't add that he was _hoping_ she would die of blood loss. Instead, he said softly, "It won't be long now… Are you going to stay with her until the end?"

"Yes." Jacob's voice was rough and muffled against Bella's uninjured shoulder.

Sam nodded silently and left the room.

Jacob didn't move for a long time. He just listened to Bella's shallow, gasping breaths. He didn't know how much time had passed. Surely it took only a few moments for Bella's fragile life to end? But it felt like hours, days, sitting there and waiting for it to be over.

After a while, her whole body tensed again, and she was shaking and struggling and screaming voicelessly. Jake held her hand tightly, wrapping his other arm around her waist to hold her still. "It's all right, Bella…" he murmured hoarsely in her ear. "It's all right…" he lied. She continued to struggle against him, gasping and coughing.

He was sure this was it, that this was the end. That these were her last moments, that this was her last, futile struggle to hold on to life. So he whispered in her ear, "I love you, Bella… It'll be okay… It'll go away soon…" and waited for it to end.

The moment seemed to stretch on into eternity. The only thing that existed was Bella's weak, shaking body in his arms, and the ragged sound of her breathing, and the sickening smell of her death…

Suddenly, again, as before, her body gave in, and she sank pitifully back into the couch. She didn't move again, and Jacob slowly let her go. He sat back, wiping at his face with his whole arm, still not letting go of her hand. When he'd wiped the tears away, he stared down at her.


	4. Dying

Bella was still breathing. Her chest barely moved, only lightly and shallowly, and she still looked like she was in so much pain. But by some miracle, she wasn't dead.

Jacob shot to his feet, still holding Bella's hand. He leaned over her, amazed. Had she somehow not been as bad off as they'd thought? He reached down and put his hand to the bandage over her neck, praying.

The gauze was red, soaked through with blood, but dried now. There didn't seem to be any fresh blood anywhere. Jake checked the table to make sure the first aid kit was still there, in case he needed to reapply the bandage. Then he slowly pulled away the gauze.

A part of him had known it wouldn't be possible, but the chance that Bella might not die had filled Jacob with so much joy that he had ignored his logical side. It took him a long moment to finally register the truth of what he was seeing.

Blood still coated Bella's throat, but it was dried and brown and much of it pulled away with the gauze. The wound on her neck was completely healed. Jacob stared for a long moment at the smooth, perfect skin of her neck. He leaned down to get a better look, and that was when the scent hit his nose.

"No…" he whispered, jerking back and covering his nose with his free hand. "No. No!" He bit back his revulsion and reached down to put his hand against the perfect, icy, marble skin.

Vampire skin.

He fought with himself between despair and relief. The venom was healing her, it was changing her, it was destroying her. The wound was gone, the jagged edges of death gone, her fragile mortality gone… Bella wouldn't die… ever.

_Then _Bella_ is already dead,_ he told himself harshly.

A part of his mind puttered away logically, ignoring his emotions. He should snap her neck and save her soul, he reasoned. But if the vampire venom had healed the deadly wound at her throat, would it be stopped by something so simple as a broken neck? Would he have to wait until she was changed, and then destroy her like they'd destroyed the vampire in the clearing?

With a massive effort, Jacob shut down that part of his mind. He couldn't kill her. He couldn't kill Bella, even if she… He had brought her back to La Push, carried her bleeding body back through the forests, and sat with her while he thought she was dying. After everything, how could he be the one to kill Bella?

He kept his hand pressed there to her icy skin, his fingers curling around the back of her neck gently. The skin at his fingertips, lost under hair, was warmer, still soft. He stroked his thumb over the still-human skin under her chin. The limp hand he still clung to was as human as always.

Feeling the warmth of the blood that still flowed through the body of the girl he loved, he decided. He would stay with her while she died. It was a different death than he'd thought, but she was still Bella for now, and she was still dying. He would no more leave her here alone than he would hasten her end.

And when she was dead… Well…


	5. Understand

Sam and Billy came in from outside, prepared to console Jacob over Bella's death. Sam saw the truth first, and he froze in the doorway to the living room, blocking Billy in the hall.

"Jacob?" Sam asked softly.

Jake turned slightly to meet Sam's eyes. One hand still held the dying girl's hand; the other was pressed to the place on her neck that had been bleeding profusely twenty minutes ago. The bandages had been pulled away, but there was no fresh blood.

What was more, the girl was still breathing. If she had been dying of blood loss, she would have been long gone.

"Is she…?" Sam started to ask slowly.

Jake shook his head. "She's… still dying. It's just… taking longer."

And then Sam was absolutely sure, not only of what he'd feared was happening, but that Jacob Black knew, and understood what it meant. He came into the room to look down at the girl on the couch.

She was still covered in blood, though she was no longer bleeding. She was sweating, too, and it smelled wrong, too sweet. Her face was contorted in pain, but her body was too weak to struggle against the inevitable any longer.

"What do you think we should do?" he asked softly. Jacob had been very close to Bella, from what Sam knew. It was his call.

"What _can_ we do?" Jacob was watching Bella's face, wishing it was peaceful so that he could pretend she was just asleep. Assuming he could ignore the smell, of course. He was unconsciously stroking his thumb across her fingers.

"…We should kill her now, before she changes," Sam offered quietly. Even before Jacob's hand tightened on the girl's and he looked up with that dangerous, disbelieving look, he knew it wasn't really an option.

"We can't! She's still human!"

"For now. But there's no way to stop this, Jake."

Jacob lowered his voice, trying the logical explanation. "I don't think we'd be able to, anyways. Her neck healed. I don't think there's anything we could do short of…" He couldn't finish the sentence. He dropped his gaze back to Bella's sweating face.

Sam thought absently that human bodies weren't as flammable, anyway, but he shoved the thought away with disgust. "We wait, then? Then what?"

Jacob didn't answer. Instead, he lifted the hand on Bella's neck and brushed her hair out of her eyes. The sickeningly sweet vampire smell drifted up when he moved, and he felt Sam stiffen. Jake smiled perversely, even though the smelled made his nose burn, as well.


	6. Hard Enough

"She can't _stay_ here," Sam snapped, his voice sharper than he meant for it to be. The smell really bothered him, and the guilt of allowing an innocent girl to get caught up in this only made it harder to hold his temper. "I don't know how long this will take, but she can't be here when it's over." Jake didn't answer or even turn his head, but his grip on Bella's hand tightened. "Do you really want her first snack to be your father?" Billy made a nervous sound from the hallway, and Jacob looked back at him quickly, before looking away. "Or are you just willing to risk him getting caught up in the fight, like she did, and going through all of this _again_, watching _Billy_ turn, watching _his_ skin change into stone, and watching _him_ go into seizures on the couch, and sitting here holding _his_ hand while – "

"Shut up!" Jake snapped, clinging to Bella, his whole body shaking in a perverse imitation of hers. "This is hard enough without your commentary! It's not Dad, okay? It's Bella, and this is hard enough!"

Bella whimpered softly, catching everyone's attention. She turned her head. She gasped, and cried out. Suddenly she was thrashing again, and Jacob bent over her, holding her, trying to keep her still. They were shaking together, but she was screaming while he was trying to whisper soothingly to her.

It was a long time before she grew still again, and by then Sam had control of his temper.

"She can't stay here," he pressed gently. "It's not safe. We can't risk having her anywhere near people."

"We can't just take her out into the forest somewhere. She's in pain, Sam."

Billy interjected then. "There's an empty cabin down by the beach. It's pretty far away from the town. If one or two of you stay with her, you'd be able to stop her before she could hurt anyone… if she tried to head this way or something."

Sam sighed. "I know the place." He reached his hand out and put it on Jacob's shoulder. "We'll take her there, Jake. And we'll figure out what to do beyond that later…"


	7. Cabin by the Sea

Jacob carried Bella to the cabin by the sea. Sam didn't want to do it, and for that Jacob was glad. He wasn't sure he trusted Sam not to try to break her neck.

Only once during the trip had she seized in his arms, and Jacob almost wished he'd driven her in the Rabbit. But again, he wasn't sure he trusted Sam with her in such close quarters, and Sam had to stay with them to show them to the cabin. He wasn't sure what Sam could possibly do, but he wasn't comfortable with it regardless.

Besides, there was something soothing about having her in his arms like this. She was freezing cold against his skin, and the smell of her burned his nose, but he welcomed it. She was still warmer than a vampire. He could still pick out that distinct scent of Bella, under the sweet burn.

The cabin was farther south than he'd expected; past First Beach. It was right on the ocean. A short set of steps twisting between two low dunes led to the sand. It was smaller than he'd expected, too. Two big French doors led into the main room, one wall of which served as a kitchen. Two doors on the far wall led into the only bedroom and the only bath.

Sam pointed out which one was which when they came inside. Jacob went immediately to the bedroom to lay Bella down. He flipped the sheets over her quickly, trying fruitlessly to keep her warm, and brushed her hair back from her face. He watched her quietly for a moment, listening to her shallow breathing and her stuttering heartbeat. Then he turned around to face Sam, who was standing in the doorway, watching him watch her.

They stared each other down for a long time. Jake felt defiant and angry at a world in which beautiful Bella could be turned to stone. Sam was worried for the safety and sanity of his second-in-command. He worried that this experience could very well break Jacob Black.

After a tense moment, Sam sighed. "I don't know how long it will take for her to change, but I think you'll be able to tell when it gets close. One of the others will always be here with you, so you won't be alone." _And so I'll know when it happens._ "For now… I'll get you something to eat."


	8. Vigil

The next two days were hard to endure. Jacob stayed by the bed, and by Bella, every possible moment. Every now and again she would have another seizure, shaking and jerking and kicking, and always, always screaming. How much pain she must be in… _How much does it hurt to turn flesh into stone?_ The perfect, icy white marble was inching across her skin. The change was subtle and slow, but it left obvious differences behind.

Her face changed with it, for one thing. Jacob's heart ached at the thought, but he had to admit that she was more beautiful now, more balanced… and his heart hardened against that beautiful face. Their beauty was one of their weapons - it was designed to draw you in, lull you into a false sense of security. Jacob wondered again why he was letting this false-Bella-creature survive its own birth. It was such a mockery of everything she'd been.

_It won't be her…_ he would whisper to himself. _This…_thing_…will wake up in what's left of Bella's body, but it won't be her. It'll be a predator, a killer. A monster you need to destroy._

But he couldn't bring himself to actually want it dead.

A member of the pack was always in the main room. The door was always kept open, and sometimes they'd bring food into the bedroom. More often than not they sat as close to the front door as they could. Bella's smell was more vampire than human by the minute, and it filled the cabin. Jacob had grown accustomed to the pain. He ignored the sweet vampiric burn, focusing instead on the lingering traces of Bella's own scent.

Whenever it was Sam's turn to stay in the cabin with Jacob, he too ignored the smell and came right into the bedroom. He sat by the door, and tried to talk to Jacob about what they were going to do, but Jacob ignored him. He knew he'd need to kill…_it_… but he couldn't think about that. Eventually Sam gave up attempting to include Jacob in his plans.

The third day dawned with cold gray light coming in through the window, and Jacob knew that his time with Bella was up. There was no more warm flesh left to freeze.


	9. Awakening

Bella had another seizure in the cool gray light of morning. It was stiffer than the others - her entire body had become taut, and she'd gasped, and her back had arched up off the bed at what seemed to Jake to be an impossible angle. Her heart fluttered like a dying bird, and when she lay back, everything was too silent and too still.

She wasn't even breathing, never mind a beating heart.

Jacob's heart broke.

A long moment passed without movement, and then Bella sucked in a deep breath. Jacob and Sam both tensed, ready to phase if she made a threatening move.

Nothing happened.

Bella lay still for a long time, then let out the breath. She let another long moment pass before she sucked in another.

She was reveling in the new, cool feeling of her body. The hellfire burn was gone, and she was so grateful. She was astounded at the way her body reacted to air now. She didn't need to breath, but she loved the way the air filled her lungs and allowed her to taste the air in the room in a new way. A distinct animal smell, strong and malodorous, filled the room, but she relished even that seemingly foul scent because it was knew and strong in her mind.

_Who am I?_ she asked herself, because her body felt so unfamiliar

_Bella Swan,_ her memory sang back, and flashed hazy images of her own human face laughing and crying and thinking.

Her body tensed, and she opened her eyes momentarily stunned by the clarity of her vision. She could make out every detail of every plaster indent in the ceiling. In less than a second, she pulled herself up on the bed, and then pulled herself back against the headboard in a defensive position. Standing before her were two half-naked men, glaring at her, looking ready to attack.

_She moves too fast!_ Jacob thought as the false-Bella tensed and threw herself back against the headboard of the bed. Her eyes glowed a brilliant crimson as though they were filled with blood. Her eyes bothered him the most. He knew this wasn't Bella, but her face was so similar, and staring out of that almost-Bella face were the bright eyes of a monster. He almost couldn't take it… and then another thought struck him.

_She's…scared. She's afraid of us._

And it was true. Her eyes were wide and watchful, flickering back and forth between the two wolves-in-human-clothing.

Then her eyes locked onto his, and her mouth relaxed slightly, curving a little at the edges. He tensed, ready for attack, and when she spoke, his heart melted and shattered in the same instant.

"Jacob?" she asked in a clear, ringing voice. She spoke softly, and it was as if she were singing in a whisper, and it was the most beautiful and most frightening thing he had ever heard. It was Bella's voice, but sweeter and lighter and clearer, and wrapped almost lovingly around his name.

Bella - _no_, he corrected himself, _the vampire in Bella's body_ - gasped at the sound of her own voice, her hand flying to her mouth. "What…" she whispered in her perfect voice, which was colored just right with confusion and awe. "What…happened? …Jacob…?" She said his name again, and he couldn't help but step towards her. But when he moved, Sam moved between them, watching them both warily. Bella's eyes snapped to him, her face colored again in fear.

Jacob almost snarled, and moved around Sam. He knew Sam was right to be wary, that this was an enemy, but he couldn't bring himself to fear her. "Bella…" His heart clenched when he used her name, and he told himself he as just playing along. "You were bitten. By that vampire, in the woods. Do you remember?" His voice sounded painfully rough compared to hers.

Her forehead scrunched together, and she was so beautiful. "I…Yes." She winced. Then she stared at Jacob with new eyes. "You… Am I…?"

Jacob squared his shoulders, bracing himself. "Yes. You changed." His voice cracked on the last word, and he clamped his mouth shut.

Bella went completely still. She didn't move, she didn't breath, her eyes didn't flicker between them anymore. They stayed frozen, focused on something else… or nothing at all.


	10. In An Instant

A thousand thoughts flickered through Bella's mind in that instant. Memories of the burning pain of changing, of Jacob's comforting voice, of the fear in the clearing, of the sound of Edward's voice, of the months they'd been apart and the ache in her chest, of Jacob and his unconditional friendship, of the Cullens, of James and Victoria and Laurent, of Charlie, of Renee, of school and Jessica and Mike and Angela, of the rainy forests of Forks, of the dry heat of Arizona, of her first day of school here, of Edward's eyes, of nights they'd spent together, of how he'd overcome his burning thirst to stay with her…

…of that last night in the woods.

Vague thoughts of the future without him she'd expected to have to endure.

A new future opened up for her – her own burning thirst, hiding in daylight, staying away from humans, learning to hunt animals… Leaving behind Forks, leaving her father and mother and all of her friends without even goodbye.

Alone. Always alone. All of her thoughts of the future centered around doing it alone, and she felt a faint memory of the edges of a whole in her chest.

Now she wouldn't just have to spend a lifetime without him. She'd have to spend the rest of _eternity_ without him.


	11. Comfort

_**A/N:**_ I really don't like anything in my stories other than the story itself, but I wanted to tell INeedEdwardMoreThanLifeItself how much I truly appreciate her reviews, especially the latest one. That is _exactly_ the effect I'm going for.  
I suppose I can also take this opportunity to beg for reviews. I really would like to know what you guys think! Even if you don't like what I'm doing at all, let me know!

* * *

A long moment passed in which Bella did not move at all. Then her hands clutched at the covers of the bed, and she let out a shrill, painful shriek. Jacob and Sam both jumped, startled, and leaned away from her. They didn't know what was going on. Her eyes were pressed shut and her face was contorted into such a look of pain that Jacob was forcefully reminded of the long nights he'd spent by her side watching her change. She looked so human in that instant… so broken.

Because she couldn't shed tears, it took Jacob a while to realize she was crying.

He leapt up onto the bed, ignoring Sam, and pulled her into his arms. Her hands came out of the blankets with ripping sounds, leaving the tattered remains on the bed. She clung instead to Jacob. She was so cold against his hot skin, and her smell still burned his nose, but no more than before. Under the burn, she still smelled like Bella, and it was Bella in his arms, needing him, so he held her.

Her skin was hard as stone, and her grip was solid. He might have been afraid if he hadn't known Bella wouldn't hurt him. She could so easily kill him like this, while his guard was down. But Jacob had finally given in and believed that this was still Bella. Sam sincerely hoped he wasn't wrong. He tensely watched the two of them holding each other, desperate for comfort, and waited for the moment when the vampire would decide that the facade had gone on long enough and kill Jacob.


	12. Not People

**A/N: I don't like author's notes - this will be deleted later. Sorry it took me so long to update! I've had this chapter written _forever_, but I didn't really like it. But I didn't know what I didn't like about it, so I couldn't fix it. I've been avoiding this story because this chapter gave me writer's block; I didn't know where to go from here!  
I finally got around to looking at it again, and when I read it through, I changed my mind. I liked it, and I knew what would happen next, so I started writing again. I'm a few chapters ahead now, so there'll be an update every day for a while, until I get stuck again, lol...**

**However, in the mean time... I really don't like the title for this story. I'm thinking about changing it, because _Changes_ was just something I came up with off the top of my head, I never really intended to keep it. Anyone have any ideas what they think the title should be? I'm toying around with some things I touch on in later chapters, no solid ideas yet.**

**Is anyone out there reading my other story, _Fire and Venom_? It has fewer chapters than this, but it updates slightly more regularly, and the chapters are definately longer on average. Not the huge, monsterous chapters most authors can dole out, but longer than here. I reccomend going over and giving it a look. I like it... but then, I wrote it, so...**

Eventually Bella's dry sobbing stopped, and she laid her head on Jacob's shoulder. Both of the boys tensed – Sam because this was a deadly position, Jacob because Bella was lying against him.

Bella sniffed delicately, her nose inches from Jacob's throat. She scrunched up her face, smiling gently. "Jacob, you stink."

Jacob laughed. "So do you, you know."

"When was the last time I…?" She broke off, and Jacob imagined the blush that would color her face. He didn't turn to see her face, knowing it wouldn't be there. He laughed again, to push away the thought that she would never blush again.

"I don't mean because you haven't bathed, that actually makes you smell _better_. I meant you smell like a…vampire."

She pulled away from him then. "But… vampires smell good to people." She studied his face with those disconcerting eyes in confusion.

Jacob laughed again darkly. _Of course they do._ "I'm not people, Bells."

She sniffed again, and frowned deeply. _I'm so thirsty, my throat is burning. And I can smell his blood, but he smells _awful_, I don't want any of him._ She was very glad for that. She really didn't want to kill her best friend. "How do you even know what vampires smell like, Jacob? How do you even know any of this?" she asked suddenly. Her mind flashed back to the stories Jacob had once told her. He himself had been the one to tell her that the Cullens were vampires, but he hadn't believed it then.

"I'm a werewolf," he said shortly, his face dark, and Sam growled from his place near the door. "We're werewolves. That gang I told you about, Sam's gang?" He gestured back to the bristling man across the room. "It's not a gang, after all. It's a pack."

"Were…wolves…" she said slowly, looking between them. Her eyes were too red, and Jacob watched Sam instead, so he wouldn't have to see.

"Sam is the Alpha. He's in charge, because he's the oldest, he was the first to change. Remember the stories I told you, about the Quileutes being descended from wolves?" Jacob watched Sam's face twist in anger, and smiled. While they were humans, Sam couldn't stop him, couldn't issue any commands as Alpha, so he continued. "They weren't all stories, after all. When we hit puberty, we grow really quick, and then one day, _bang_, we phase for the first time. It's like an explosion, you should see it – " and he stopped because there was a loud noise, and then there was a wolf growling by the door, and then he was gone.

Bella heard the explosion, and turned to see the man erupt into fur. He stood there for an instant growling at her, and it was a very short moment before he ducked out the door, but it was long enough for her new eyes to see every detail of his black wolf form.

As soon as the wolf disappeared, Jacob had leapt away from her and was standing in the doorway himself, staring after Sam. He turned back to stare at her, looking torn.


	13. Still Rainbows

Bella sat alone on the bed for the long hours of the morning. She watched the light play through the window and listened to the waves crashing on the beach just outside. She memorized every aspect of her surroundings without leaving the haven of the bed.

The burning ache in her throat was constant, though she fought to ignore it. She was desperately thirsty, and she knew just what it would take to quench that thirst. She refused to leave the bed.

At one point, the sunlight through the window left hazy bars across the bed, and Bella stretched out in the filmy light. Rainbows and reflections filled her vision, and she curled up in a ball, watching the light shimmer faintly across her skin.

For those hours she spent alone, she was very still.

She heard Jacob returning from a long way off. He approached quickly, and she listened to the quick, soft thumps of his running footsteps in the damp earth. He slowed, and she smelled him then, as his steps reverberated solidly on the hard wood of the cabin floor. She traced his steps in her mind as he came to the door of the room and stopped.

Jake studied the smooth curve of her back. She looked as though she might be sleeping, facing the window now. She laid the wrong way on the bed, with her hair sprayed out along the foot board, and her knees pulled up against her chest. The faint light from the window lit her corner of the bed, and the ceiling and walls around her were painted with the light from her skin. He moved to her side and sat behind her, trying not to wake her. He watched the rainbows flicker across his dark skin.


	14. This isn't a miracle

**A/N: Decided to update early today. I got up early to do some English essays, but I'm stalling. Good news for you!**

**I'm still thinking about changing the title for this story, but I still haven't come up with anything I really like. The few of you out there who're really following this (I know some of you are there! Very few, I admit, but some!) leave me some love and tell me if you have any ideas for a title change.**

**___**

A cloud passed in front of the sun, and the rainbows in the air dimmed and died. Bella and Jacob sat together silently; he watching her breathe, she watching nothing.

She sighed heavily, and he was startled. She rolled over, looking up at him. They stared at one another for a long time.

"Hey…" she murmured, but she didn't continue. She didn't really have anything else to say.

Jacob didn't know, but he frowned, and his brow puckered in concern. "How are you doing?" he asked.

Bella's eyes roved over the ceiling, before returning to his. "What are we gonna do, Jacob?"

He blinked – it was hard to meet her gaze.

"What are we gonna do?" she repeated. "I can't…" She faltered, then tried again. "I can't be near people. I can't stay in Forks or La Push… I can't go back to Charlie… I can't go back to Renee… I can't see anyone." Her hand twitched in the desire to reach out to him. "It's a miracle I can sit with you here like this… I can never be this close to anyone else again."

"A miracle…" Jake mused with a soft, dark laugh. "It's not a miracle, Bella… It's not even a coincidence…" He looked away from her then, staring out the window. "You can be near me because you couldn't hurt me unless you tried." He repeated his statement from before, "I'm not people, Bells… Werewolves… We're designed to stand up against you. We exist because you do. I am what I am… _because_ they exist, _because_ they are here." His gaze flickered back to her for a quick moment, before dropping to his lap. "…Or were here."

Bella tensed at the subtle reference, and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. "An-anyways…" she interjected, not wanting to talk about that.

Jacob sighed. "Anyways," he agreed. "You're right. You can't be around people. You can't go back to Forks… But you can stay on the rez, so long as we keep you far enough away from the village."

Bella took her turn staring out the window. "…I can't be trusted, Jake," she said softly. "If I smell them… I'll want them. I won't be able to stop myself. It's…it's all I can do right now to stay in this bed, to not go looking for them…"

His hand was on her shoulder. "I'll help you," he said simply. "I won't let you."


	15. The Burning

Bella made a strange sound in her throat. It was somewhere between a cough and a groan, and Jake gave her a questioning look. She returned with a sheepish one, fluttering her hand at the skin of her neck to gesture.

"My throat…"

Jake worried that perhaps there was some internal damage the venom hadn't repaired. "Does it hurt?" he asked, reaching over to press his hand gently to the place where the deadly wound had been three days ago.

"I… Yes?..." she answered, confused, wondering if they were talking about the same thing. She pursed her lips in determination. "It burns. It always burns," she explained. "But I… They – the Cullens… they told me it's always like that. The burning. Even after you… drink…" she winced at the word, "…it never really goes away."

"Oh." Jake pulled his hand away when he realized what she was referring to. "What… Do you…?"

Bella looked away from him, before answering quietly. "…I need to hunt, Jake. It's the only thing that could help."

He blanched, his face turning a chalky, sickly shade at the idea. "You… you can't…"

Bella closed her eyes. "I need to. If I don't… I might lose control and hurt someone… Thirst… the thirst could drive me to do something… and I couldn't stop."

Jake debated silently. '_Take her now, and watch her become an animal… or make her wait, and watch her become a monster…_' There wasn't much choice, so he nodded. "I'll take you hunting."

She jerked her eyes open and turned to stare at him. "No… It'll be dangerous…" She recalled… _his_ reaction the first time she'd mentioned joining him on a hunt.

Jake laughed, and Bella was sad. He no longer laughed like he used to. He sounded so jaded. "I can hold my own against you, Bells. And I can make sure you don't hurt anyone."

Bella sighed and nodded. "…Thank you, Jake…" she said quietly.


	16. Leaving the Cabin

Jake kept a tight grip on her hand when they finally came out of the bedroom. Sam was waiting at the door of the cabin. Neither Bella nor Jacob were surprised. They stood by the opposite door, waiting for him to speak.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm taking her hunting," Jacob answered, and watched Sam tense.

"Animals!" Bella interjected sharply. Sam glared at her, and she shrunk back. "Animals…" she repeated gently.

"North of the village, but still on the Rez," Jake clarified. "Away from people."

Sam watched them, contemplating the option of starving her to death. He decided it wasn't feasible, and he was a little disgusted with himself for considering it, but all options needed to be accounted for. "Okay," he said, nodding. "I'll come with you."

Bella was uncomfortable with the idea, but figured it would be safer for the people of the La Push, so she nodded.

Sam turned and led them outside. They walked along the beach, avoiding the scent of people. It was a long way, and it was a silent walk.


	17. Hunting Realizations

Bella was extremely thirsty, and extremely awkward, and extremely aware of the two wolves behind her. She knew she had no clue what she was doing, and no matter what she did she'd look incredibly stupid… but she could hardly ask either one of them how a vampire hunts. Especially since from their point of view, a vampire would be stalking entirely different prey.

She wandered around the forest for a while, listening intently and following her nose, as it were. Unfortunately, she had a better understand of how to use a compass than how to follow her nose.

Eventually she heard a strange noise, and turned sharply to her left to investigate. She raced along for a short distance, Sam and Jake following behind. She came out in a clearing, stopping short when she saw the bear.

It was about the same size as her companions, and it watched her as intently as she watched it. She tried to imagine how to go about… _killing_ it, but she'd never killed anything before in her life.

'_Emmett hunted bears,_' she thought. The bear stood on its hind legs, perhaps hoping to intimidate her. Instead she found herself amused. It kinda reminded her of Emmett, and she was struck with the utterly insane notion of challenging the bear to a wrestling match. A wrestling match that would, hopefully, end with its blood in her mouth.

As soon as her mind touched the idea of the bear's blood, her mouth watered with venom, and her instincts took over.

Jake saw the change. He saw his love go from being the nervous, awkward girl walking through the woods, to the perfect killer. Her movements stilled, her confusion became confidence. She slid back into a crouch, and Jake realized that up until now he'd seen her as the same person. He'd known she was dangerous, but knowing and believing are two separate things.

Up until now, the only change he'd really registered was that now she was indestructible.

When she launched herself at the bear, he realized she'd also become the destroyer.


	18. Now She Knew

When Bella finally pulled away from the bear, she stood tense and shaking a distance away from the others. She left the animal's corpse where it was, refusing to look at it again. She ignored the blood that coated the front of her shirt. She listened to the sounds of the forest. She turned back the way they'd come, following their trail back to the beach, back to the cabin. It was another long, tense walk back. She refused to meet Jake's imploring gaze, refused to acknowledge his existence at all. She knew that now he knew. Because now she knew.

She was the killer, the monster of the night.

She was the creature that everyone should run from.

She was the thing that enjoyed the taste of blood flowing over her lips.

She finally understood why he had never trusted himself with her. She desperately wished he could be with her now.

She buried that thought as quickly as it had come.


	19. The Story, The Truth

**A/N: Changed the summary on this. Still working on a new title... What do you think of _The Prospect of Eternity Alone_, or maybe just _Eternity Alone_. I think that sorta gets across the point I want. Lemme know what you think.**

The pack was waiting when they got back to the cabin.

When Bella saw them, she flinched away. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

Jacob reached for her, letting his arm ghost across her shoulders even though she tried to move away. "It's okay, Bells. They won't hurt you."

She laughed bitterly. '_Hurt _me?'

The boys tensed at her laughter, but Sam waved them down.

Bella walked slowly past them, into the cabin, grateful that they stank like Jacob and Sam, that they were wholly unappetizing. She faltered once she was inside. Should she return to her room, or should she stay in the main room?  
Should she hide, or should she greet her visitors?

She squared her shoulders, and sat at the table. She watched the boys file in, and nearly laughed again to see them squeeze their wide frames into this small cabin.

Tense silence filled the room, as the wolves and the vampire stared each other down.

"Hello," Bella said. Half the boys balked. Jacob grinned, but it was like a smile stretched across the face of a skull – he didn't feel it. Anyways, he moved to sit at the table across from her, and one of the others growled.

"What are we doing, Sam? Why aren't we killing it?"

Bella flinched away from the hostility in his voice, but Sam ignored it.

"We're going to have to tell Charlie that you're dead," Sam told her without sympathy, and she cringed at his blunt attitude, fighting to keep from sobbing again. "We can't let you near him, or any of the humans, and we can't explain this away… and… Well, it's the truth, anyways."

'_Oh, Charlie… I'm so sorry… Charlie, Renee… this will kill them…_' She closed her eyes, knowing it was the only way. She nodded, looking up at him, still avoiding Jacob's gaze. She opened her mouth, then paused. She closed it and bit her lip. She tried again, and was surprised that her voice didn't crack when she spoke. "Tell him I was attacked by one of those big bears everyone's been seeing or something…" It depressed her that her voice was perfectly smooth. Her body no longer had a physical outlet for emotional pain. Her outer appearance could never again mirror her soul.

Jacob laughed without humor, surprising her from her thoughts. "What?" she asked him sharply.

"Bella, _we're_ those big creatures everyone's been seeing."


End file.
